Kahwallawallapoopoo by Osgard L.A.;

Author:Osgard, L.A.;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Atlantic Publishing Group
Published: 2018-09-21T18:46:30+00:00

Chapter Nine

Well, I guess that should do it. I think I’ve got all the kinks worked out,” Maynard finally announced.

“Gosh Maynard, when I said ‘take all the time you need’, I didn’t realize you were going to need an hour!”

“Hey, Mr. Smarty-Farty-Pants, a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do. I’ll have you know it ain’t easy being me. Sometimes I’m all squished into that little stuffed animal body and then sometimes I’m ‘Maynard the Amazing’. Patience, young Jedi, patience; the transition to my HUGE, AMAZING, BIG-BAD-BUFF SELF is a very delicate process.”

“All right already, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how very delicate you are, but now that I know, I will be so much more considerate of your delicateness!”

I swam over and quickly climbed on Maynard’s back. I didn’t want him to leave me out here by myself for laughing at him.

I leaned over and patted Maynard’s neck, gave him the thumbs up sign, and told him I was ready if he was. He clapped his flippers together, tossed his head, and yelled, “Hold on tight, ‘cause here we go!”

“GO, MAYNARD, GO . . . GO, MAYNARD, GO! Holy cats, Maynard, I can barely hold on . . . WOO-HOO! WOO-HOO!”

“Jake, you gotta hold on tight. . . . I’m gonna try one of my most impressive tricks. Here we go . . . !”

“Wait a minute, Maynard! Just hold on a minute!” I yelled, as I felt Maynard’s powerful body beginning to pick up steam.

“Tricks? What kind of tricks exactly do you have?” I yelled, hoping that Maynard heard me in time to slow down.

“Well, Jake, I call it the BELLY-BUSTIN-KNEE-KNOCKIN MAYNARD SURPRISE!”

“Maynard, what did you just say?”

“I said, I call it the BELLY-BUSTIN-KNEE-KNOCKIN MAYNARD SURPRISE!”

“Good grief, Maynard. Why the heck do you call it that?”

“Because it’s an amazing trick and my signature move. Believe me — it stops everyone dead in their tracks when they see me do it! I’ll have you know, it’s quite impressive that such a HUGE, AMAZING, BIG-BAD-BUFF manatee such as myself can pull it off with such grace and elegance. It proves my point that I am by far the most athletic manatee that lives in The Lagoon! So, Jake, can we do it? It’ll be awesome. I promise, you’re gonna love it!”

“BELLY-BUSTIN-KNEE-KNOCKIN MAYNARD SURPRISE! Well, it sounds a teeny bit terrifying, but let’s do it. I’m sure it will be OK, right? It can’t be any scarier than the Time Warp Tunnel, right?”

“Definitely! Absolutely! I’ve practically got this trick mastered. All I need is for you to sit tight and hold on, and I’ll do all the work, OK? Are you ready?”

“Well, sure, I guess I’m ready. Hey Maynard, quick question, where exactly should I hold on? It’s not like you’ve got a saddle on your back or a long, flowing mane for me to grab a hold of?”

“Good question, Jake. Excellent question! Hey, I’m sorry, I guess I got so excited about showing you my BELLY-BUSTIN-KNEE-KNOCKIN MAYNARD SURPRISE that I forgot to tell you about all of the cool stuff my cape can do.

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